Learning to Manage Disagreement in Relationships
When managing disagreement in marriage, couples who are able to understand and manage their own emotions and behaviors, and how their partner reacts to arguments, are significantly better equipped to have meaningful relationships. This is related to a concept known as emotional intelligence. The Gottmans’ found that couples who could tolerate and handle arguments thrived, but couples who could not handle arguments well often divorced. Mr. and Mrs. Gottman identified four behaviors she did during an argument that prolong or lead to greater conflict. Dr. D’Arienzo describes each of these actions called the Four Horsemen. Also known as Criticism, Waring, Defending, and Contempt. Let’s take a closer look at the first tab, as Dr’ D’Arienzo has provided an antidote for each:
Criticism is the first and frequently most prevalent of the four horsemen. When managing disagreement in marriage, it is a natural human behavior for people to seek an explanation for their negative feelings and, over time, people can develop a negative habit of mind. According to John Gottman, “criticism” plays a part in most relationships, but it’s crucial for couples to concentrate on lowering the amount of criticism they give to one another. Criticism can be extremely damaging since it makes the person feel attacked, unloved, and wounded. The couple frequently develops an escalating pattern as a result, in which criticism recurs with increasing regularity and ferocity. Furthermore, most feedback is seen negatively when a relationship becomes tense or severely contested. In actuality, even helpful criticism is seen negatively. According to research, five affirmative statements are required to balance out the negative impact of one critical statement for every one that is made. This makes it challenging when a relationship is already toxic because it is very challenging to have constructive conversations. Try to avoid being too critical as it will help to stop a downward spiral.Stay tuned to learn about the other three horseman: stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt. Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course. Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need. He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota. Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our Georgia Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Georgia Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.
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