Strategies to Resolve Disagreement: Part III

Take our $17.97 premarital course and save money on your Georgia marriage license! We here at D’Arienzo Psychology are excited to help you take this next step toward marital happiness and success, and want to help deepen your relationship with your future spouse. Keep reading for Part III of Dr. D’Arienzo’s tips and methods to resolve disagreement in your relationship: 

Strategies to Resolve Disagreement: Part III

Dr. Gottman has developed a five-step tool to discuss an issue or major problem that needs to be resolved. Remember the goal is to gain a greater understanding of where your partner is coming from rather than to win the argument. When I work with couples, I want them both to feel like they have been heard, understood, and are accepted for their position. Often achieving the above deescalates the situation and the couple finds resolution. Couples that get along and don’t frequently argue can quickly come to an understanding. Disagreement threatens relationships if there is a lot of friction. Couples should go through each of the five steps listed below together.

1. Feelings: Describe your feelings towards the circumstance. Don’t explain your feelings. Don’t make comments on your partner’s emotions. Maintain your lane.

2. Realities: Describe your “reality.” Take turns. Summarize and validate at least a part of your partner’s reality. Remember, their reality should not be a threat to you. During the conflict, we have selective attention and therefore partners remember the same situation differently.
   
   
3. Triggers: Discuss the events or memories that may have caused the interaction to escalate, as well as the reasons why those events or memories are triggers for each of you. Own the trigger you use. Never criticize, downplay, or assign blame to your partner’s triggers.
   
   
4. Responsibility: Accept responsibility for your part in the altercation or occurrence. Defenselessness is the reverse of this. When we assume a little responsibility, our spouse feels less threatened.
   
   
5. Plans that really are constructive: Come up with a way that everyone of you can improve on it going forward. You are more able to reach an agreement with your partner now that you both understand your partner’s perspective, that you have both been heard, and that you have each accepted some of the blame for the unpleasant episode.

Taking a premarital education course is vital for equipped couples to share a lifetime of marital bliss and happiness. D’Arienzo Psychology wants to help you prepare for your life together. Dr. Justin D’Arienzo is our Board-Certified Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert. Dr. D’Arienzo has serviced this course to couples since 2013. Hundreds of couples recommend our course and claim that it has helped set a solid foundation for marital success. Research suggests that couples who take a premarital preparation course gain an advantage over couples that do not take a premarital preparation course.

Dr. D’Arienzo wanted to develop a fully efficient, online, fully automated, fun premarital course that teaches couples how to work together. Dr. D’Arienzo has perfected all of our exercises and information to ensure that couples gain the knowledge they need.  He also offers this course to couples planning on tying the knot in Florida, Georgia, Texas, Tennessee, South Carolina, Oklahoma, and Minnesota.

Do you want to lead a happy marriage that lasts a lifetime? Do you want to have fun and gain inside knowledge about marriage from a leading psychologist? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then our Georgia Online Premarital Education Course is right for you! You can learn more about our Georgia Online Premarital Preparation Course Here.